Laff-A-Day

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The wife has a girl’s night out tonight, which means I am
in charge of dinner. She left a coupon for the local pizza
place attached to the fridge before she left for work this
morning, at which I took a bit of offense. I was a bachelor
on my own for years before we got married. I still know how
to prepare a meal. So this afternoon I’m off to the grocery
store to do a little shopping!

No pizza for me and my kids. Tonight’s menu will consist of
all beef hot dogs with macaroni and cheese and Bush Brand
baked beans. Parents these days need to take more time to
prepare a home cooked meal.

Mister-Mom-ly,

TZ

“Today, the House of Representatives voted against the Wall
Street bailout plan, a plan which House Minority Leader John
Boehner called ‘a crap sandwich.’ Congress hasn’t given up —
they’re already working on a new plan they call ‘a crap sand-
wich with cheese.’” -Conan O’Brien

 

BARK CONTROL COLLAR
Do yourself and your neighbors a favor…

Retail Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99

Bark Control Collar makes pet training easy. The high pitched
tones, inaudible to humans, reinforce commands and dramatically
reduce training time by omitting gentle but irritating negative
stimulus when the dog barks, thereby calming the action.

Bark Control Collar requires one 9V battery not included.

WHY YOU SHOULD GET IT:
- Train your dog away from annoying barking with this smart
electronic Bark Control Collar.

- It will teach your dog to stop Barking.

- Teaches your pet to break the barking habit without pain, shock
or needless Trauma.

- Safe, Humane and Effective.

Do yourself and your neighbors a favor and get the Bark Control
Collar today.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/vm6if4
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/vm6if4“>
BARK CONTROL COLLAR…</a>

 

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised
by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel:
“An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is
under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from
an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in
a ‘compromising position.’”

“See, I have a problem with that passion business,”
responded the jury candidate. “During my first marriage,
I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All
I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot
him.” She wasn’t selected for the jury.

 

Our pastor was winding down the service.  In the back of the
church, the fellowship committee stood to go to the church
hall and prepare snacks for the congregation. Seeing them
rise, Pastor Michael singled them out for  praise.  “Before
they all slip out,” he urged, “let’s give these ladies a big
hand in the rear.”

 

THROW THAT OLD BULKY AND SCRATCHED CHOPPING BOARD AWAY…
IT’S TIME FOR THE SPACE AGE FLEXIBLE CHOPPING MAT

Developed by scientists and used only by the finest chefs of
the world… You too can make the revolutionary Flexible
Chopping Mat a part of YOUR kitchen.

Perfect for cutting and chopping, the futuristic surface won’t
dull knives. Not only will it protect your countertops it also
provides a sanitary work surface. Great for camping, boating,
picnics and RV’s. You can even fold the sides and it becomes a
funnel… great for your veggies. Oh yeah, did we mention its
dishwasher safe and FDA approved. Don’t wait get three (3)
Flexible Chopping Mats for JUST $2.99 when you visit below:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/nq0ox7
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/nq0ox7“>
Flexible Chopping Mats</a>

 

A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day
discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes
the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the
Coliseum.”

The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced
mathematics.”

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the
Roman Empire.”

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he
thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”

The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians
who introduced it to women!”

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           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  <a href=” http://www.gophercentral.com/book/laff.html “>
  Laffaday Book</a>

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END OF LAFF A DAY
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