One Royal Pounding.

Greetings Laff Lovers,

My wife has been working her ass off lately so I took the
initiative and gave her a nice gift. It took me a while to
come up with just the right gift at just the right price,
and in the end I came up with something perfect that didn’t
cost a penny.

“Here you go, honey,” I said as I handed her the envelope,
“I love you.”

She positively beamed. No shit, she was glowing and excited
as she carefully opened it.

Now, I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy which means I like
to get right at things. I tried foreplay once but my arm got
tired so I never did that again. But by the way my wife’s
face changed as she read my note, I’m thinking I should have
gone the extra mile.

She never took her eyes from the paper as she read, “‘You’re
entitled to one Royal Pounding on the day or night of your
choosing.’”

“I’m not sure I like your tone,” I said a little dejectedly.

She read it again but this time with a wistful smile on her
face. “‘You are entitled to one Royal Pounding…’ Does it
have to be with you?”

Ungratefully,

TZ

“According to Entertainment Weekly the new term for gay
lovers is ‘manpanions’. Well, at least it doesn’t sound
gay.” -Jay Leno

 

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A divorcee in her early forties was sitting at a bar one
night when she noticed a young, attractive black man just
a few stools away. She’d never experienced for herself if
the stories about black men were true, so she took the op-
portunity to buy the young stud a drink.

One drink led to another, and those led to the couple going
back to the divorcee’s apartment. Once there, the woman
stripped naked, climbed up in her bed, struck a sexy, come-
hither look, and whispered,

“OK, you gorgeous piece of chocolate man. Show me what young
black men do best.”

So he beat her up and stole her stereo.

 

Man to gay bartender: “I don’t know why, but I’ve always
found it difficult to make male friends. Know what I mean,
cocksucker?”

 

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A beautiful young woman is getting dressed for work one morning
in her high-rise apartment building. She glances out her
fiftieth-story bedroom window and sees a window washer outside.
Thinking she will rattle him, she slowly takes off her dress.

The window washer just goes about the business of cleaning the
windows. Next, she removes her slip in a very provocative
manner. Still, the man just keeps working away.  Taking her
striptease to the full extent, she takes off her bra and
panties and begins parading around her room. The window washer
still takes no notice of her.

Finally, the woman walks over to the window and just stands
there, totally naked, staring at the man outside her window.
At last the window washer puts down his pail and says, “What’s
the matter, lady, haven’t you ever seen a window washer before?”

———————————————————————————————-

           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  <a href=” http://www.gophercentral.com/book/laff.html “>
  Laffaday Book</a>

———————————————————————————————-

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2008 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

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