Greetings Laff Lovers,
I just read a story about Wilson Watson. He is a retired
English professor who has spent the last couple decades
collecting the most hilarious and often depressing spelling,
grammatical and contextual errors his students have made in
their papers.
I have reprinted a few of the more bizarre examples for you
below. You might find them entertaining. Reading these
bloopers really highlights the careless responsibility of
our educational system, and I know I shouldn’t, but knowing
there are people out there who actually think this is English
really helps my self-a-steam.
And remember folks, these are college students!
“People who murder a lot of people are called masked
murderers.”
“The person was an innocent by standard, who just happened
to be the victim of your friend’s careless responsibility.”
“Another effect of smoking is it may give you cancer of the
thought.”
“The children of lesbian couples receive as much neutering
as those of other couples.”
“Benjamin Franklin discovered America while fling a kite.”
“Keith helps me to have good self-a-steam.”
“For example, one homeless person lives under a bride in
Lanham, Md.”
“Jogging on a woman’s ovaries can be dangerous to her
health.”
“The French benefits of this job are good.”
Literarily,
TZ
“Political experts are wondering what the future will hold
for Gov. Rod Blagojevich. On the bright side, he has been
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-Conan O’Brien
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“I have good news and bad news,” the defense attorney told
his client. “First the bad news. The blood test came back,
and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime
scene.”
“Oh, no!” cried the client. “What’s the good news?”
“Your cholesterol is only 140.”
“The U.S. Department of Education has a new slogan: Our
students may be behind the rest of the world, but they’re
on top of their teachers.” –Jay Leno
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A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My
husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He
doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around
the house organizing things.”
The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after
we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and
plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in
its place.’”
The first woman asked, “Did it help?”
Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”
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END OF LAFF A DAY
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