Greetings Laff Lovers,
The homecoming with my wife was so sweet and gentle. Usually
we engage in a sweaty session of mattress gymnastics that
involves barely muffled grunts, a little squealing, a few
curses and a lot of the headboard banging against the wall.
But this time it was soft and sweet. So gentle, like two
drops of rain merging into one in free fall. She never even
opened her eyes when I gently finished and we lay together
as one in peaceful bliss.
Of course, I found out the next morning she was asleep
through the entire thing.
Satisfiedly,
TZ
“They found out that Bernie Madoff had an affair. His wife
says she knew nothing about his illegal activity. But she
said she uncovered the affair through some credit card
receipts. That she was able to figure out.” -Dave Letterman
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“You’ve got a good lawyer to take care of the estate?” asked
her mother.
“Oh, don’t talk to me about lawyers,” said the recent widow
angrily. “I’ve had so much trouble over the property. Some-
times I wish Frank had never died.”
“Barack Obama said that he is using his own money to
redecorate the White House, and he is using taxpayers’
money to decorate the houses of the AIG executives.”
-Craig Ferguson
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There was a clerk in a small town general store in the South.
One day, a tall man entered the store and began filling a
shopping cart with items.
This man was so distinctive in that he could have been
the official spokesperson for Quaker Oats. He was dressed
in black, very tall and had that hat just like the Quaker
Oats guy wears.
Well, the clerk had never seen a Quaker before, let alone
talked to one. When the man reached the counter with his
selections the clerk could hardly contain himself. “Are
you a real Quaker?” he asked as he was ringing up the
merchandise.
“Yes,” the tall man said with a little edge in his voice.
“No joke?” asked the clerk, “You’re really a real Quaker?”
The man, looking a little more perturbed, said, “Yes, I am
a real Quaker.”
“Wow!” the young clerk said, “I never seen a real Quaker
before. Would you say something in Quaker talk for me?”
asked the clerk.
The tall man ignored this request and waited for his mer-
chandise to be tallied up. “Please mister, say something
in Quaker talk?”
The man finally leaned over the counter in a gesture of
secrecy. The clerk leaned forward in order to hear the
quiet reply. The man said, “Fuck Thee.”
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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———————————————————————————————-
END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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