Laff-A-Day

Archive for April, 2009

Sensitive.

April 30th, 2009

Greetings Laff Lovers,

There has been a rash of, how should I say it, inappropriate
touching going around the office lately. Ear-flicking, pony-
tail-pulling and goosing, for example.

One of the girls started complaining to no one in particular
that if this kind of behavior doesn’t stop she is going to
have to ask Magilla the ape-boss to institute some conduct
policies.

Hearing this I walked up behind her chair, began caressing
her shoulders and said, “I wouldn’t bother. I’m the company
sensitivity counselor.”

Understandingly,

TZ

“Obama was celebrating his first 100 days in office. George
Bush was president for eight years and never spent close to
100 days in office.” -Jay Leno

An Affordable (special liquidation) Battery Operated Stapler
X-Acto Easy Touch Battery Operated Stapler…

List Price: $29.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get Two for $15.98

This personal-size stapler automatically fires a staple through
2-15 sheets of paper at a time. Simply insert your paper into
the mouth and a staple will be driven when the paper hits the
automatic stapling lever. (Fingers cannot reach it)

The X-Acto Electronic Stapler loads a full strip of standard
office staples with a convenient push-button staple channel.
Ergonomically styled with non-skid rubber feet to protect your
desktop. Uses a 9-volt battery (not included).

Grab one for $9.99… or save even more and get two for $15.98

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X-Acto Easy Touch Battery Operated Stapler…

What is the difference between frustration and panic?

Frustration is the first time you discover you can’t do it
the second time.

Panic is the second time you discover you can’t do it the
first time.

When to Propose… Or Not

Men who can answer “yes” to five or more of these questions
should consider carefully before proposing marriage.

* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as “that
square thing?”

* Does she use the phrase “you know” more than twice per
sentence?

* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a
plastic surgeon.

* Have you noticed her name tattoed on three or more local
bikers?

* Have you noticed three or more local bikers’ names tattooed
on her?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an
old boyfriend’s?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the
Green Bay Packers?

* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?

* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?

* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the
word sex?

* Does her resume include a six-year stint at Big Leg Emma’s
House of Painful Delights?

Purse Hanger 2-pk with Bonus Pouch
Cute, Clever & Convenient…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get two for $9.98

It’s always a problem… Where to put your purse when you’re
eating out at a restaurant. Hang your purse on the back of
your chair (easy for someone to slip off). On the floor – under
your feet (not very convenient or sanitary). In your lap? That
would get old quick.

With the Purse Hanger you NEVER have to worry about this! Simply
hang your Purse Hanger on the edge of the table and hang your
purse on the hook. This holds your purse within “YOUR” easy reach,
not the person sitting at the table behind you!

It sits on the tabletop and a metal hanger drops under the table,
where you conveniently and confidently place the strap of your purse.

FEATURES:
- Will hang from most tables – Supports up to 30 pounds
- You Get TWO Hangers – Includes carrying pouch
(silver & gold tone)

Grab a 2-pack for $5.99 or get two 2-packs (4 purse hangers) for
$9.98, Visit: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14460/c/120/a/498

Purse Hanger 2-pk with Bonus Pouch

When to Accept a Proposal… Or Not..

Women who can answer “yes” to five or more of these questions
should consider carefully before accepting a proposal of
marriage.

* On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you
could help with his laundry?

* To reach him in an emergency, would anyone think to call the
local adult bookstore?

* Has he ever bragged about seeing every episode of “Gilligan’s
Island” at least four times?

* Is it unclear to some people whether that’s a mustache or
just a lot of unruly nose hair?

* Is his idea of a classy restaurant one where every table has
its own stack of ketchup packets?

* Does his car get more than sixty miles per gallon?

* Does the label on his deodorant include the phrase “Industrial
Strength?”

* Has he memorized the telephone number of at least one bail-
bondsman?

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

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