Greetings Laff Lovers,

Since the wife is out out of town I am in charge of dinner.
She left a number of coupons for the local pizza place
attached to the fridge before she left, at which I took a
bit of offense. I was a bachelor on my own for years before
we got married. I still know how to prepare a meal. So this
afternoon I’m off to the grocery store to do a little
shopping!

No pizza for me and my kids. Tonight’s menu will consist of
all beef hot dogs with macaroni and cheese and Bush Brand
baked beans. Parents these days need to take more time to
prepare a home cooked meal.

Rachel Rayly,

TZ

“A German airline is offering nude flights. The flights are
great for flight attendants. It makes it easier to spot the
guy who ordered the kosher meal.” -David Letterman

FOREVER GREEN BAGS – Package of 16…

Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get Two Packages (32 Bags) for $9.98

Tired of throwing out rotten food? Green Bags prolong the life
of your fruits, vegetables and cut flowers without the use of
chemicals. Stock up on produce without worrying about rapid
spoilage or extend the life of your homegrown fruits & veggies.

HOW GREEN BAGS WORK:
Fruits, vegetables and flowers release ethylene gas while
ripening after harvesting or picking. Ethylene gas accelerates
ripening, aging and rotting. Green Bags absorb and remove this
damaging gas, dramatically extending the life of fruits,
vegetables and flowers.

FEATURES:
- You get 16 Green Bags (8 – 9″ x 15″, 8 – 12″ x 17″)
- Save Money… Waste Less Produce
- Reusable up to 20 Times
- Keep Produce Fresh Approx. 30 Day
- Reduce Vitamin Loss by 50%

It does all that with NO CHEMICALS! Get one package of 16 Green
Bags for $5.99 or pick up two packages (32 Green Bags) for $9.98.
Yep… you’re getting two for the normal price of one. VISIT:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14363/c/120/a/498
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14363/c/120/a/498“>
FOREVER GREEN BAGS – Package of 15…</a>

A divorcee in her early forties was sitting at a bar one
night when she noticed a young, attractive black man just
a few stools away. She’d never experienced for herself if
the stories about black men were true, so she took the op-
portunity to buy the young stud a drink.

One drink led to another, and those led to the couple going
back to the divorcee’s apartment. Once there, the woman
stripped naked, climbed up in her bed, struck a sexy, come-
hither look, and whispered,

“OK, you gorgeous piece of chocolate man. Show me what young
black men do best.”

So he beat her up and stole her stereo.

“The Internet is full of men looking for dates for the in-
auguration. What ever happened to the Washington tradition
of getting a hooker?” -Craig Ferguson

CROSSFIRE SUNGLASSES (Gold or Silver)

Normal Price: $29.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.49
Get Two Pair (you can mix n match colors too) for $5.98

Slip on a pair of Crossfire Sunglasses and immediately you’ll
experience the meticulous craftsmanship and quality materials
used to create them. Each pair provides superb comfort, style
and durability. Plus they offer 100% UVA, UVB Protection.

Because of the great quality and pricing, you may want to pick
up a pair of Silver Crossfire Sunglasses too… and if you buy
two of any of the Crossfire Sunglasses you’ll save an additional
$1.00… You’ll get two pair for $5.98!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/vl0ue0
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CROSSFIRE SUNGLASSES (Gold or Silver)</a>

Into the local pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d
just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his
nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s
walking with a limp.

“What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender.

“Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy.

“That little shit, O’Conner?” says Sean, “He couldn’t do
that to you, he must have had something in his hand.”

“That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had, and a
terrible lickin’ he  gave me with it.”

“Well,”  says Sean, “you should have defended yourself.
Didn’t you have something in your hand?”

“That I did,” said Paddy, “Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, and a
thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight.”

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           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  <a href=” http://www.gophercentral.com/book/laff.html “>
  Laffaday Book</a>

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END OF LAFF A DAY
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