Greetings Laff Lovers,
I knew the day would come eventually, and I’ve been dreading
it for thirteen years. Tomorrow is my daughter’s eighth grade
graduation. After that she will be, for all intents and pur-
poses, as far as she is concerned, no longer a little girl.
That means cell phones, makeup, pedicures, and not long after
that…boys. The wife and I have argued about how early we
should let her go on dates. The wife says fifteen, I say 21.
Hopefully we’ll be able to compromise and settle on 19.
I don’t want to stunt her emotional growth, so I might be
willing to let her date as early as eighteen, as long as I
can chaperone. Of course, that would mean I’d have to buy a
gun…
Planning ahead,
TZ
“My God!” complained the wife to her husband, “I come home
with a little cum in my hair and right away you jump to
conclusions.”
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In a second grade class, a little girl asks, “Teacher, can
my Mommy get pregnant?”
“How old is your mother, dear?” asks the teacher.
“Forty.” she replies.
“Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant.”
The little girl then asks, “Can my big sister get pregnant?”
“Well, dear, how old is your sister?”
The little girl answers, “Nineteen.”
“Oh, yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant.”
The little girl then asks, “Can I get pregnant?”
“How old are you, dear?”
The little girl answers, “I’m seven years old.”
“No, dear, you can’t get pregnant…”
Then, the little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke
and says, “See, I told you we had nothing to worry about.”
I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding
over a stage direction. In my script it clearly said:
“Enter Juliette from the rear.”
Jokes, trivia, politics, music, free stuff and much, much
more. Where can it all be found?
At Gophercentral.com
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A woman asks her husband, ‘Would you like some bacon and
eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and
coffee?’ He declines. ‘Thanks for asking, but I’m not
hungry right now. It’s this Viagra,’ he says. ‘It’s really
taken the edge off my appetite.’
At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. ‘A bowl
of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?’
He declines. ‘The Viagra,’ he says, ‘really trashes my
desire for food.’
Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat.
‘Would you like a juicy ribeye steak and scrumptious apple
pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?’
He declines again. ‘No,’ he says, ‘it’s got to be the
Viagra… I’m still not hungry.’
‘Well,’ she says, ‘Would you mind letting me up? I’m fucking
starving!
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
Laffaday Book
———————————————————————————————–
END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
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