Laff-A-Day

Posts Tagged ‘Dog Show’

You might be looking at the wrong end.

June 8th, 2009

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Over the weekend I happened to catch a glimpse of some National
Dog Show event as I flipped through the channels. The dog on
the screen at the time was a white English sheepdog. It was
simply a mound of fur with four legs. The judge was brushing
back the dog’s hair so she could look at the animal’s eyes.

The TV announcer was explaining that each dog has to have its
eyes checked to make sure they’re the right shape, color, etc.

Another announcer chimed in with, “Well, plus the judge has
to see if the dog HAS both of its eyes. ‘Cuz if you start
combing through all that hair and you only see ONE eye… then
you’re looking at the wrong end of the dog.”

Comparatively,

TZ

“I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking
than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember
their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.”
–Laura Kightlinger

Is it New York?

Is it Los Angeles?

How about Dallas?

We think it’s Chicago… that is Chicago is the best town for
sports! Of course we’re biased because we at GopherCentral all
hail from Chi-Town… but when you think about it we have some
of the oldest and most storied Sport Stars and Teams.

The Cubs, White Sox, Da Bears and more. And who can forget
Walter Payton? Still in my mind the best running back.

Last two words on the greatest… Michael Jordan!

Okay so where is this all leading to? We’ve got a brand new
newsletter that is filled with Chicago Sports Facts.

Check it out and subscribe… it’s delivered twice a week
and will soon start publishing… of course it is free. Just
visit the GopherCentral site at: http://www.gophercentral.com
Chicago Sports Facts

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his
old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it
saying “Free to good home, You want it you take it.”

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person
looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were
too un-trusting of this deal, looks to good to be true, so
he changed the sign to read “Fridge for sale $50.00″. The next
day someone stole it.

“Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse
when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers
around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then
you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they
were shot.” –Ellen Degeneres

CAMPER’S SURVIVAL TOOL
Not Just For Camping…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $8.00
Get two for $14.00

While this is the perfect camper’s companion, we think EVERY
car should have one too! This handy tool has a flashlight…
but not just any ordinary flashlight. Not only is it SUPER
BRIGHT, it turns into a blinking distress light with one
additional click.

Tucked away in the hidden compartment are two stainless steel
utensils (Spoon & Fork) that are magnetized to prevent excess
jostling inside the container. Ventilation holes allow moisture
to escape after utensils are washed.

Just when you think that there’s nothing else.. how about a
multi-use tool that has a can opener, corkscrew, knife and
bottle opener.

Lightweight and durable, this multi-function tool will fit inside
a backpack, glove compartment, golf bag and more.

And YES… Batteries ARE INCLUDED! Get one for $8.00 or two
for $14.00. They really do make a wonderful gift.

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14500/c/120/a/777

CAMPER’S SURVIVAL TOOL – Not Just For Camping…

An elderly lady phoned Verizon to report that her telephone
failed to ring when her friends called – and that on the few
occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always barked right
before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to
see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a
nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed
the subscriber’s house.

The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog barked
loudly and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from
the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground post
via an iron chain and collar.

2. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when
the phone number was called.

3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and
then urinate on the ground.

4. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing
the phone to ring.

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

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