Greetings Laff Lovers,

So my wife has been out of town for three days now and I had
a pretty detailed plan on how to best maintain a routine with
the kids’ meals, schoolwork and housework. Well, guess what?
It all went to shit in about an hour.

For the three days my wife was gone the kids have eaten what
they wanted when they wanted. The dishes…? I bought paper
everything. Schoolwork? Let’s just say the teachers give us
compliments when my kids tie their own shoes and don’t get
distracted by shiny objects.

The one fly in the ointment came when three young, fit blondes
knocked on the door.

“Hello, we clean you…” said one sexy little nimph in heavily
accented English.

I looked over my shoulder to make sure the kids were not around.
“My pipes? Did my wife pay you to take care of me because I very
generously sent her on a private vacation for a whole week? Boy,
she does love me! My very first orgy!”

They spoke quickly in Polish and a look of fear and disgust
covered their faces. Then one spat on the floor saying,
“American pig!” and they left.

I heard someone laughing and I realized I was still on the phone
with my dad who had called right before the knock on the door
came. I put the phone up to my ear.

“Nice try, Son. But you’ve always been a fucking idiot.”

Misjudgingly,

TZ

“You should learn to love your enemies just in case your
friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.” –R. A. Dickson

 

USB Laptop LED Light

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Get two for $4.98

This is one of those items that if you have a laptop you’re
going to absolutely love.

This USB LED Light ensures you have enough light to do your
computing when you need it most. Use it on the plane, during
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Great for travelers and students alike, this featherweight
light illuminates your keyboard without distracting others
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Use it once and you’ll love it forever. At this price pick up
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USB Laptop LED Light</a>

 

A homo goes to a tattoo parlor and asks to have a car tattooed
on his dick.

The tattoo artist asks, “What type of car would you like put
on?”

“Better make it a 4×4,” replies the flamer reflectively, “it’s
got a lot of shit to get through.”

 

“Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a difference
between having an open mind and having holes in one’s head?”
 –Richard Schultz

 

#1 CHRISTMAS GIFT… The Super Fly Monkey
Way More Fun Than A Barrel of Monkeys…

Retail Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get two Flying Monkeys for $15.98

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no… It’s a screaming, flying
monkey…

The Superfly Monkey is an exciting toy for kids of all ages.
Just place two fingers in the monkey’s paws, aim, stretch his
legs and let go, and the Superfly Monkey will soar up to 50
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While the monkey is flying through the air, he makes fun monkey
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A yuppie business woman in town for an important meeting,
checked into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her
bags. Noticing that her favorite suit had been badly wrinkled
during the flight, she phoned the front desk and asked to have
the hotel’s valet service pick up the suit for pressing.

Almost immediately after she hung up the phone, a knock sounded
at the door and there stood an elderly Chinaman.

Impressed by the speedy service, the career woman exclaimed,
“My, you come lickety-split!”

“No ma’am,” replied the old Chinaman, “I come get laundry.”

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           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

  It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
  <a href=” http://www.gophercentral.com/book/laff.html “>
  Laffaday Book</a>

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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.