Greetings Laff Lovers,

It was a very relaxing weekend for me, thank you. I was able
to avoid the wife and kids and played a lot of golf, which
really put me in a good mood. And the best part, I almost
got to see my brother blow up my other brother’s car on the
fourth.

My one brother is not exactly the sharpest card in the deck,
and he always seems to get himself in the most bizarre pre-
dicaments…like on Saturday.

Somewhere he got hold of what looked like an artillery
mortar. This is the kind of thing you are supposed to light
and then drop into a large metal tube pounded firmly into
the ground.

He didn’t come prepared with something to launch it from,
of course, so he decided that the next best thing to a two
and a half inch diameter pipe would be his hand. His plan
was to hold it, and then at the last second throw it up into
the air where, in his imagination, it would fly off straight
up into the air and detonate safely and spectacularly.

A small group of us went out into the front yard, away
from the kids and women and barbecue grill and tables full
of food, and watched as he held the rocket in his hand and
lit it.

Predictably, the sparks erupting from the pencil-thick wick
burned his hand and he dropped it. Scrambling for a few
seconds to pick it up again he finally lost his nerve, and
as we watched from the safely of the garage door he gave it
a desperate kick, sending the bomb straight under my other
brother’s car.

You can imagine the screams of, “You [EXPLETIVE DELETED]
idiot! What the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] are you doing!” right
before a loud whistle follow by a deafening explosion sent
a cloud of dust billowing out from under the car.

Bizarrely enough, there didn’t seem to be any significant
damage to the car. We checked it thoroughly, looking for
any punctures, leaks or holes. It was a relief, of course,
not to have to deal with an exploding car and all of the
paper work that it would have involved…but I have to admit
I am just a tiny little bit disappointed.

There’s-always-next-yearly,

TZ

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A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to
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assures her, “my wife is out of town on a business trip, so
there’s no risk.”

As one thing leads to another, the woman reaches into her
purse and suddenly gasps, “We have to stop! I forgot to
bring birth control!”

“No problem,” he replies, “I’ll get my wife’s diaphragm.”
After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom
in a fury. “That bitch!” he exclaims. “She took it with her!
I always knew she didn’t trust me!”

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

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———————————————————————————————–

END OF LAFF A DAY
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