If you receive an email entitled “Bedtimes” delete it
IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty
nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard
drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within
20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on
ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access
code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace
field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play.
It will program your phone auto dial to call only 1-900
numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU
LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee
table when you are expecting company. It will replace your
shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the
“Bedtimes” message opened in a Windows Vista environment,
it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer
plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not
only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN!

Cautiously,

TZ

“Yesterday in New York City, a woman gave birth to a baby
girl while waiting on a subway platform. Witnesses say it
was the third grossest thing happening on the subway plat-
form.” -Conan O’Brien

An Affordable (special liquidation) Battery Operated Stapler
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X-Acto Easy Touch Battery Operated Stapler…

The detective was leafing through the suspect’s cime history
folder. “Hmmm, quite a record.” he said. “Shoplifting, hit-
and-run, disorderly conduct, armed Robbery, sexual assault,
rape, man-slaughter…”

“Yeah, I know.” said the prisoner. “It took me quite a while
to figure out what I was good at.”

“Lil Wayne will be the proud father of two new sons from
two different women. Yeah — the women were Lil Drunk and
Lil Stoned.” -Jimmy Fallon

DIGITAL TIRE PRESSURE GAUGE
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- Perfect Size for Glove Compartment

Grab one for $5.99 or get two for $9.98… and don’t forget
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DIGITAL TIRE PRESSURE GAUGE No More Inaccurate Readings

A forty-year-old hillbilly carried a younger hillbilly into
the doctor’s office, deposited him on the examining table,
and said, “See if you can patch him up good. I shot up his
rear end like it was a tail on a possum. Don’t hurt him none,
’cause he’s my son-in-law.”

The doctor said, “Why would you shoot your son-in-law?”

The hillbilly said, “He warn’t my son-in-law when I shot him.”

———————————————————————————————–

*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

———————————————————————————————–

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

I’m not one to argue, but I would have to say that this
‘Monty Python’ clip is pretty damn funny.

Yes it is.

Yes it is.

Yes it is.

Just watch the clip.

Disputing-ly

TZ

P.S. Hey, would you like to win a FREE DVD? It’s free to
enter and winners will be notified by email. Just
click the link here to read the details and enter!

Visit: WIN this Presidential Bloopers DVD

Email TZ

Looking for a Laugh?
You’ll find them on EVTV1.com: Humor Video Clips

————————————————————

Last Week’s Clip Ratings

C-SPAN Prank Calls

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=14246

Rating: 2.9 out of 5

————————————————————
FOREVER GREEN BAGS – Package of 16…

Normal Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get Two Packages (32 Bags) for $9.98

Tired of throwing out rotten food? Green Bags prolong the
life of your fruits, vegetables and cut flowers without
the use of chemicals. Stock up on produce without worrying
about rapid spoilage or extend the life of your homegrown
fruits & veggies.

HOW GREEN BAGS WORK:
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It does all that with NO CHEMICALS! Get one package of 16
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price of one. VISIT: FOREVER GREEN BAGS – Package of 15…
————————————————————

This Week’s Video Clip – Monty Python: Argument Clinic

The famous Argument Sketch from a 1972 episode of Monty
Python highlighted the special chemistry between Michael
Palin and John Cleese. The completely absurd bit features
a service that provides an argument for a fee.

Visit: Monty Python: Argument Clinic

Prank phone calls remind me of my youth, a simpler time
if you will. I would spend hours and hours thumbing
through the phone book in seach of potential prankees. In
my opinion, time well spent.

When I was a kid I just wish that I had live “call-in”
shows to prank call like the lucky people in today’s
awesome clip.

Today you’ll learn that some people just don’t appreciate
a good prank phone call.

Dialing-ly

TZ

P.S. Hey, would you like to win a FREE DVD? It’s free to
enter and winners will be notified by email. Just
click the link here to read the details and enter!

Visit: WIN this Presidential Bloopers DVD

Email TZ

Looking for a Laugh?
You’ll find them on EVTV1.com: Humor Video Clips

————————————————————

Last Week’s Clip Ratings

Political Talk Show Turns into a Brawl

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=14222

Rating: 3.1 out of 5

————————————————————
SET OF 2 COLLAPSIBLE BUCKETS

Retail Price: $19.99
Deal Price: $7.99

Bright 3-gallon buckets twist and fold completely flat for
easy storage in garage, trunk, or beach bag! In durable
polyester with sturdy handle, plastic liner, and zipper
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clippings, potting soil, ice and picnic supplies.

Each, 11″ high x 10 1/2″ diameter.

- Holds Water, Weeds, Potting Soil, Tools & more…
- Great for the Garden, Camping & the Beach
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Set includes one red and one blue. Get one set for $7.99
See them by visiting the site at:
SET OF 2 COLLAPSIBLE BUCKETS
————————————————————

This Week’s Video Clip – C-SPAN Prank Calls

Everyone loves prank calls! They’re even better when
they’re on the air! Watch this outrageous collection
of the best prank calls on CNN live and the people’s
reactions! Contains Some Strong Language!

Visit: C-SPAN Prank Calls

Mad TV is simply funny shit. This clip gave me a great
idea of a last minute gift. I just hope that they have a
few left in-stock. If they are sold out I can just get my
kids the Tickle Me Jellyfish. It’s great for bathtime.

Giving-ly,

TZ

P.S. Hey, would you like to win a FREE DVD? It’s free to
enter and winners will be notified by email. Just
click the link here to read the details and enter!

Visit: WIN this Presidential Bloopers DVD

Email TZ

Looking for a Laugh?
You’ll find them on EVTV1.com: Humor Video Clips

————————————————————

Last Week’s Clip Ratings

Why Would You Do This?

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=14020

Rating: 1.7 out of 5

————————————————————
FUZZY SOCKS – Very Soft & Comfy…

Retail Price: $7.99
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Warm and cozy microfiber socks come in a variety of stripes
and solid colors. So soft you have feel it to believe it!
These quality socks are made of 97% Polyester, 2% Spandex
and 1% Rubber. Machine washable. Women’s size 9-11.

PLEASE NOTE: Because of the low cost, colors are chosen
at random. Grab a bunch by visiting:
FUZZY SOCKS – Very Soft & Comfy…
————————————————————

This Week’s Video Clip – MadTV: Tickle Me Emo

It’s Here! The greatest toy of the year is available now.
Tickle Me Emo is the emotionally tortured angst filled
cousin of Sesame Street’s Elmo. It makes a great gift for
any child with serious issues.

Visit: MadTV: Tickle Me Emo

When you have a clip with a title featuring the words
“Retarded Policeman and Tazer” you know that you are
getting something that may have you laughing so hard
that urine might trickle down your leg. Trust me, I
know from experience.

Tazing-ly

TZ

P.S. Hey, would you like to win a FREE DVD? It’s free to
enter and winners will be notified by email. Just
click the link here to read the details and enter!

Visit: http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/170/a/7689/l/b01vr4

mailto:tz@gophercentral.com

Looking for a Laugh? You’ll find them on EVTV1.com:

http://www.evtv1.com/humor.aspx

————————————————————

Last Week’s Clip Ratings

WNBA Fight: Detroit Vs. L.A.

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=12818

Rating: 2.4 out of 5

————————————————————
Karada Cleansing/Detox Foot Pads

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Over 18 million foot patches are sold every month in Asia,
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The Karada Cleansing Foot Pads are made from bamboo
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These foot patches are said to stimulate nerve endings
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————————————————————

This Week’s Video Clip – The Retarded Policeman: Tazer

Let’s go ‘Tazey Crazy’! This ’special’ police officer
pulls over a young couple and informs them the department
just gave out tazer guns. Will this cop be able to talk
these two into getting tazed? Find out by watching…

Visit: http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=12899