Greetings Laff Lovers,

As you know Saturday is Independence Day. That means we are
going to be taking tomorrow off because I’m not about to be
gypped out of a holiday. You won’t be getting an email from
me tomorrow, but make sure to look for me again next week
when hopefully I’ll have some amusing stories about somebody
getting their fingers blown off or contracting food poisoning
from eating potato salad left out in the sun too long.

And if you’re pissed off because you were actually planning
on sitting inside on your computer tomorrow and reading your
email you really need to get out and find a barbecue to go
to. That big yellow thing in the sky is called the sun and
it won’t eat your soul like the people in your vampire chat
room have been telling you.

Helpfully,

TZ

“Knavery seems to be so much the striking feature of its in-
habitants that it may not in the end be an evil that they
will become aliens to this country.”

-George III (1738 – 1820), on America

“This is a love story. A true love story” – Barbara Walters
Christian The Lion DVD – The Full Story of Christian

List Price: $49.99
Our Price: $19.99

Here is the beautiful, all true story, about Christian the Lion.
After years of being raised around humans, Christian considers
himself a human too. Follow his story as he is introduced to the
wild African plains for the first time in his life. And then the
whole, full story of the reunion of Christian with the folks who
raised them…. You won’t believe how your heart will melt!

“More than 40 million people have viewed this
very special love story” – Oprah

“It’s something to see”- Joy Behar, The View

“It’s so uplifting… I Wept Like A Baby”
– Meredith Viera, Today Show

SPECIAL BONUS: You Get two bonus movies free:
- The Great Dan Patch – Cute & Cuddly Critters

That’s three movies on two DVDs for $19.99… a $30 savings.
To see a video clip from the DVD or order, visit:
VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14511/c/120/a/498

Christian The Lion DVD – The Full Story of Christian

A mother walks into her daughters room holding a condom in
her hand, “I found this while cleaning your room today….
Are you sexually active?”

To which the daughter replies, “No, I just lay there.”

“The Greatest Happiness is to scatter your enemy and drive
him before you. To see his cities reduced to ashes. To see
those who love him shrouded and in tears. And to gather to
your bosom his wives and daughters.” –Genghis Khan

TOUGH TOOLS LED TORCH FLASHLIGHT

Normal Price: $4.99
DEAL PRICE: $1.99
Get Two for $2.98

Don’t let the size fool you… This amazing little flashlight
uses nine of the brightest led bulbs available and is one of the
most energy efficient types of flashlights available today! With
its compact size and light weight design makes it really handy
and portable. It’s perfect for camping, travel, boating, home
emergency kits, or even walking the dog! Colors may vary.

FEATURES:
- 100,000 hour LEDs – 120 foot effective range
- Anti-shock structure – Takes 3 AAA Batteries (INCLUDED)

Just $1.49 each when you buy two or more…

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14385/c/120/a/498

TOUGH TOOLS LED TORCH FLASHLIGHT

A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t in
bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She
finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of
whiskey in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought,
just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip
of his whiskey.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she asks. “Why are you down here
at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20
years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?” he
asks solemnly.

“Yes, I do,” she replies.

“Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat
of my car making love?”

“Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a
chair beside him.

The husband continues, “Do you remember when he shoved the
gun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or
I’ll send you to jail for 20 years?”

“I remember that, too,” she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, “I would have
gotten out today.”

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.