Your face or mine?
Friday, January 9th, 2009Greetings Laff Lovers,
It was late last night when I finally crawled into bed next
to my wife who was still up reading a book. Despite it being
the end of a seventeen hour day I still had a little energy
left so I slipped a hand around her waist and said, “What
would you say to a little ‘oral’ activity?”
“That all depends…” she responded sleepily, “your face, or
mine?”
I took the road less traveled.
TZ
“A plastic surgeon in the United States has rigged his car
so that it runs on fat left over from liposuction. That’s
right, Middle East — a car that runs on fat. Now who has
the greatest energy reserves in the world?” -Conan O’Brien
SUPER SIZE SHAMMIE
Made In Germany, Don’t Be Fooled By Others…
Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Get two for $4.98
Now is the time to get this FULL SIZED SHAMMIE for just $2.99.
Made in Germany don’t be fooled by others on the market that
just don’t do the job AND are more than triple the price!
Like on TV, this Super Size Shammie Absorbs 50% than natural
chamois. It’s extra large size of 27 x 17 can be cut in half
for smaller jobs. Durable enough for just about any task, but
soft and gentle enough for use on any surface.
It’s the PERFECT cleaning cloth and has hundreds of household
uses: floors, countertops, appliances, furniture windows, pets
and more. Perfect for washing car or boat, too!. Like on TV,
this soft, absorbent and non-abrasive cloth is 100% polyester
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reusable! Just machine washable… but do not tumble dry.
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Did you hear about the Vicar in England who told his congre-
gation (including the small children) that Santa was dead?
If that’s not bad enough he also explained that it is com-
pletely impossible for anyone to deliver that many gifts in
such a small span of time. As a result many of the children
burst into tears and remained inconsolable.
When interviewed the father of one four-year-old girl and he
was beside himself. “Do you realize how much fast-talking is
going to be required to fix this?” he said in a crisp British
accent.
“I dare say the damage is irreparable. Why this is far worse
than priests fondling a few alter boy balls… This is down-
right unchristian.”
“A German billionaire committed suicide Monday because the
financial crisis has reduced his wealth from $13 billion to
$9.2 billion dollars. Well who could blame the guy? He’s
expected to live on $9.2 billion? The man’s gotta eat!”
-Jay Leno
LEATHER PASSPORT HOLDER (Black)
Great For So Many Things…
Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $4.99
This incredibly soft black leather passport holder has the
Great Seal of The United States, plus “Passport” and “United
States of America” printed on the front. Not only will this
holder hold your passport, it has pockets on the inside for
holding driver’s licenses, credit cards or business cards.
Measuring 5 1/4 inches by 4 inches, it fits any official US
passport.
Let’s face it, when traveling abroad there is no more important
document then your passport.
This Black Leather Passport Holder keeps your passport and
documents safe when traveling to any country.
Just think how awful it would be if you spilled something on
your passport. It only makes sense to protect it. The difficulty
you’ll face trying to replace your passport is something you’re
better off not knowing!
Grab one or two… they’re great for so many things. Visit:
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“Marriage Definitions”
BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of
her alimony.
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife
whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look
fat in a fur coat.
GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that
his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.
HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until
she doesn’t do it.
HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized
he had.
JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits
the wife to beat the husband to the draw.
LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace
of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings,
and no recognition.
SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble
you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single in the first
place.
WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having any-
thing to wear at the very same time that she complains about
not having enough room in the closet.
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
<a href=” http://www.gophercentral.com/book/laff.html “>
Laffaday Book</a>
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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.
