Greetings Laff Lovers,

I don’t know how I get talked into these things. On Sunday I
let the wife volunteer me to cook for a Memorial Day picnic
sponsored by the youth group our son belongs to.

I pictured a leisurely afternoon of flipping a few burgers
while eying up all the MILFs running around in their tank
tops and shorts.

But what ended up happening was once the other dads saw
there was a schmuck actually willing to cook for about two
hundred people they abandoned me like the last rats on the
Titanic.

Working two grills simultaneously I cooked almost continuously
from eleven a.m. to six in the evening. There were forty
POUNDS of hamburgers, 20 packages of hotdogs plus, I don’t
even know how many barbecue chicken breasts.

It was slave labor.

I had better be getting a long, sloppy blowjob out of it,
that’s all I can say.

Exploitedly,

TZ

Q. Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A. So, when you pull their tits they won’t shit on the floor.

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Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day
when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.
“Does anyone know what this is?” She asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, “Sure, my daddy has
two of them!”

“Two of them?!” the teacher asked.

“Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big
one that he uses to brush mommy’s teeth!”

Q. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
A. Sexual harassment.

Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.

American Builder 26 Piece Folding Tool Tote
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Finally, tools you’ll use and not lose. This 26-piece Folding
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American Builder 26 Piece Folding Tool Tote

Mr. White, the biology professor, at a posh suburban girl’s
school, asked during class, “Miss Smith, would you name the
organ in the human body, which under the appropriate con-
ditions, expands to six times it’s normal size, and define
the conditions.”

Miss Smith gasped, then said snottily, “Mr. White, I don’t
think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you that
my parents will hear of this.” With that, she sat down red-
faced.

Unperturbed, Mr. White called on Miss Jones, and asked the
same question. Miss Jones, with complete composure replied,
“The pupil of the eye, in dim light.”

“Correct,” said Mr. White. “Now, Miss Smith, I have three
things to say to you: one, you have not studied the chapter
I assigned. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will
someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment.”

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.