Greetings Laff Lovers,

Yesterday was the solstice which was the longest day of the
year and also the first official day of summer. Do you know
how I know that? Because Clean Laffs Joe won’t shut the fuck
up about it.

He pulls these bizarre little factoids that nobody gives a
shit about out of his ass and annoys everyone with them all
day long.

Joe,” I interrupted while he was trying to explain the tilt
of the Earth in relation to the Sun, “why don’t you tell me
something I actually need to know…like how to get your mom
to stop biting me while we’re having sex?”

He shook his head sadly at me, “That’s easy, stop trying to
live out your fantasies with your neighbor’s dog.”

Good one,

TZ

“Earlier today in Los Angeles, armed robbers held up a medical
marijuana clinic. Police can’t identify the robbers because
all the eyewitnesses say they have glaucoma.” -Conan O’Brien

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Solar Light & Bug Zapper Zap Those Bugs That Are Bugging You

A guy sees a beautiful, young woman at the other end of the
bar. He walks up to her and says, “Where have you been all
my life?”

“Well,” she says looking him up and down, “for the first half
of it, I wasn’t even born.”

“Happy Birthday to Paula Abdul. She’s 47 years old, and she
plans to spend the day with her closest friends: Vicodin and
Chardonnay.” -Jimmy Fallon

Amazing Hanger by Handy Trends
The Solution To Any Crowded Closet…

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Amazing Hangers – The Solution To Any Crowded Closet…

The teacher in Johnny’s school asked the class what their
mothers did for a living.

One little girl said her mother was a doctor, another said
her mother was an engineer.

When it was Little Johnny’s turn, he stood up and said “My
mom’s a whore.”

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the
principal’s office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.
So the teacher asked “Did you tell the principal what you
said in class?”

Johnny said “Yes”

“Well, what did the principal say?”

“He said that every job is important in our economy, gave
me an apple and asked for my phone number.”

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.