Greetings Laff Lovers,

Un-fucking-believable. There I was, last night in bed, wrapped
in a blanket and doped up on over-the-counter drugs to fight
my swine flu, and what does the wife do but climb in bed with
me and slip her hand inside my boxers!

How many nights…how many…have I been healthy as an ox and
horny as a bull only to have her turn over and tell me she
wasn’t feeling good or wasn’t in the mood or hadn’t shaved her
legs or some other God-forsaken reason?

But last night, when I was sweating, sniffling, half asleep and
drugged, SHE wanted to ride the merry-go-round.

Maybe it was the Florence Nightingale effect, but it pissed
me off. No concern for my welfare, she just wanted her lily
watered. Now she would know what it feels like to get shut
down. Imagine her…trying to drain me of my vital bodily
fluids when I am sick and vulnerable. Well, my health is more
important!

We totally did it.

TZ

“How about Eliot Spitzer. Do you remember him? He was the
governor of New York for a while, then it came out he
enjoyed whores. But it turns out he was doing this all over
the country. When I heard this, I was outraged. I mean,
what, New York hookers aren’t good enough for you?”
-David Letterman

Artist Brush Set – 18 Piece Set
18 Brushes For Less Than You Would Pay For One…

List Price: $17.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99
Get Two for $13.98

If you’ve ever bought, even a mildly good quality brush then
you know just how expensive they can be.

When we came across this super buy… I flipped. For less than
1/2 of what you would pay for just one brush you get a whole
set of 18! It’s a whole assortment of flat and round bristled
brushes for any painting occasion.

If you think that’s all… you’re wrong… it even comes with
a canvas case for storage.

FEATURES:
- 18 Bristle Brushes, Flats and Rounds
- Brush Sizes 1-8 and 10
- Natural Wood Handles
- Bonus Natural Canvas Brush Case
- Perfect for Painting, Arts, and Crafts

I have to emphasize what a great price this is for 18 brushes.
For the price of one brush you can get 18, plus the sturdy
canvas carrying case.

Grab one for $7.99 or get two (The set is perfect for gifts)
for $13.98. VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14514/c/120/a/498

18 Brushes For Less Than You Would Pay For One…

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you
your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to
this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card.
“It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great
lover.”

“Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”

“King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia met with President Obama and
gave him a large shiny medallion on a thick gold chain.
Obama said, ‘Thank you, but I think you have me confused
with Flava Flav.’” -Jimmy Fallon

Auto Shut Off Calculator 2-pk by Unisonic
You Get TWO Calculators For The Price of One…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get two sets for $9.98

These Unisonic dual pack calculators are a great tool for
those who need dependable calculators for office work or
on-the-go calculations. One of the calculators can function
in any light and automatically switch to battery power when
it gets dark. With its large 8-digit display, you can see the
results clearly.

FEATURES:
- One (1) battery powered calculator
- One (1) solar powered calculator
- Both have large 8-digit liquid crystal display
- For personal and professional use
- Floating decimal point system
- Auto power shut off function feature
- 10-functions plus full-feature memory
- Recall memory and percentage keys
- Two (2) Carrying cases included

Grab one set for $5.99 or get two sets for $9.98. Visit:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3631/c/120/a/498

Auto Shut Off Calculator 2-pk by Unisonic

Business was good at the local whorehouse and the madam
decided to partition one of larger rooms. After the work
was complete the carpenter asked for payment but was put
off. After several weeks he still hadn’t been paid and he
had to threaten the madam, “Pay me or I’ll rip out the
partition!”

Finally the madam offered to pay him in trade. “Take any
girl in the house and have your pleasure with her.”

“I’ll take you.”

“Me? I’m 20 years older than most of the women here. Why
don’t you take one of those young, good looking ladies.”

“I want you,” the carpenter replied.

So he took her upstairs and removed all her clothes, laid
her on her back and put one finger in her pussy and one
finger in her butt.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I told you before. Pay me or I’ll rip out the partition.”

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

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END OF LAFF A DAY
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