Posts Tagged ‘taser’

You have to, or else.

June 11th, 2009

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Has everybody seen the footage of the little old lady who
got tazed by a deputy in Texas for refusing to sign a
speeding ticket? I just saw it myself today.

There has been a lot of controversy about this. It’s a
little, 72-year-old lady! Yes, but she was swearing and
resisting arrest. But did a cop twice her size have to use
a tazer to subdue her? He warned her five times that he was
going to tazer her…and then she dared him to do it.

I don’t know, but when someone dares you to do something,
you pretty much have to do it or else you’re a pussy.

Double-dogly,

TZ

“Jon and Kate Gosselin of “Jon and Kate Plus 8″ celebrated
their 100th episode by having celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse
over to cook dinner. Things got a little tense when Kate
asked Emeril how to make chicken cacciatore and Jon asked
Emeril how to make a bitch shut up.” -Conan O’Brien

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The Magic Calculator & FM Scan Radio

Morris wakes up in the morning. He has a massive hangover
and can’t remember anything he did last night. He picks up
his bath robe from the floor and puts it on. He notices
there’s something in one of the pockets and it turns out
to be a bra. He thinks “bloody hell what happened last
night?”

He walks towards the bathroom and finds a panty in the
other pocket of his robe. Again he thinks “what happened
last night, what have I done? Must have been a wild party.”

He opens the bathroom door, walks in and has a look in the
mirror. He notices a little string hanging out of his mouth
and his only thought is “Please, if there’s a God, please
let this be a teabag.”

“My fiancee and I are having a little disagreement. What I
want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers
and a no expense spared reception; and what he wants is to
break off our engagement.” -Sally Poplin

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Between the ages of 16 and 18, a woman is like Africa,
virgin and unexplored.

Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and
exotic.

Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully
explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her
resources.

Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted
but still has points of interest.

After 56, she is like Australia, everybody knows it’s down
there but who gives a damn.

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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

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END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.