I was in a meeting I probably shouldn’t have been in
listening to a couple of our techies loudly discuss the
best way to handle some sort of issue.

“I think we should…” and one of them went on for two
minutes defending his position.

“No, because then…” and the other one shot holes in the
idea.

This went on for a little while when Magilla finally joined
the group.

“What’s all the fuss?” Magilla demanded.

The two techies tried to explain.

Finally, Magilla said, “I don’t understand.”

“You don’t have to,” I butted in. “If you actually tried to
run things around here this company would have gone bankrupt
years ago. Just go back to your office and keep scratching
your balls.”

Helpfully,

TZ

A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the
honeymoon suite.

“Do you have reservations?” inquires the receptionist.

“Only one,” replies the groom. “She won’t take it up the ass.”

DRYER BALLS – The Natural Fabric Softener…
Going Green Has Never Been So Easy!

TV Price: $9.99
OUR PRICE: $5.99
Get two sets for $9.98

Dryer Balls are the safe, natural, easy way to soften
fabrics while saving money on fabric softeners, dryer
sheets and energy. Best of all…There’s No Chemicals!

The unique design relaxes the fibers during the drying
cycle leaving clothes softer and towels more absorbent.

As they tumble around in the dryer they lift and separate
fabrics allowing air to flow more efficiently thus
reducing drying time up to 25%.

Use them over and over again and they last for years! Each
package contains 2 Reusable, Non-Toxic Dryer Balls. Do
yourself and the environment a favor and grab a set. Visit:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3489/c/120/a/498

Dryer Balls – The Natural Fabric Softener

After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley,
the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up
and approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I
would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’
of the charges.”

The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re
guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save
this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded.

Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, “Well, when the
trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before
I heard all the evidence against me.”

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it
out.

Experience The Most Invigorating Shower Of Your Life…
The Dual Sided Back Scrubber Cleans, Massages & Exfoliates

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99

The Dual Sided Back Scrubber cleans and massages your entire
body. A combination of large and small bristles cleans every
inch of your body…effortlessly.

Reverses to a nubbie side for a spa-like massage experience.
Stimulates circulation to sore, tired muscles. Comfort grip
handles lets you reach every inch of your body with ease.
SIZE: 31″ L x 4-3/4″ W

FEATURES:
- Helps Stimulate Circulation
- Massages Sore Muscles
- Cleans & Exfoliates Entire Body
- Clean Feet Without Bending
- Over 1500 Massaging Cleaning Bristles
- 49 Energizing Nodules

Create a spa-like shower in your own home and make getting
to those hard to reach places easy with the Dual Sided Back
Scrubber. It’s now $7.99.
VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14496/c/120/a/498

The Dual Sided Back Scrubber Cleans, Massages & Exfoliates

An old geezer in an old people’s home takes a fancy to a woman
who is also staying there. One day he plucks up the courage to
go and talk to her, and after a while he says he would like to
make love to her. She agrees that when everybody else goes on
a day trip they both stay behind at the home and get down to
it.

The old man goes to the woman’s room and asks her how she likes
to be made love to. She tells him that she loves a man to go
down on her. He agrees and goes for it.

After about 30 secs he comes back up and says that he is sorry
but it just smells too bad down there. She thinks for a minute
and tells him that it must be the arthritis. He looks and her
confused and states that surely you can’t get arthritis down
there, and even if you could it wouldn’t cause that smell.

She says “No, it’s the arthritis in my shoulder. It’s been six
years since I’ve been able to wipe my ass.”

————————————————————————————-

*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

————————————————————————————-

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

I managed to get in 72 holes of golf over the long weekend
and now I’m paying for it. Both my shoulder and my back are
killing me. The odd thing is that I felt great yesterday.
It’s the lack of consistent activity that does it.

The problem, as I see it, is work. If I could cut my hours
down to around 20 hours a week I could play golf four or
five days a week and never give my body a chance to stiffen
up. I wonder if Magilla would even miss me.

Optimistically,

TZ

5-In-1 Multi Purpose Slicer
Shred, Slice, Mash, Scrape & more…

List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get two for $15.98

All you have to do is take your favorite fresh vegetable
(carrots, onions, mushrooms, zucchini) hold it in place with
the safety handle and slide it along any of the 4 slicing tools.
The pieces fall into the bowl, so you can dump out all your
vegetables at once into a salad, stir-fry, soup, or anything else.

You’ll love how it easily shreds, slices, and grates your food
and keeps it in the below bowl… not flying everywhere.
Makes it easy to just dump your veggies in a pot, pan or salad.

CONTAINS:
- Mandoline-Style Slicer – Two (2) Different Sized Graters
- Shredder – Scraper (great for zesting)
- Food Holder Safety Handle – Bowl with Built In Strainer

I didn’t even mention all the cabinet and drawer space you’ll
save! This one item stores easily in a cabinet and allows you
to get rid of so many other items you have.

Grab one for $9.99 or two (makes a great gift) for $15.98. Visit:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14533/c/120/a/498

5-In-1 Multi Purpose Slicer…

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes
to the accounting software, severely limiting access to
wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product
brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other
valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip
2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable
programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0,
Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes
the system. Under no circumstances will it run Diaper-
Changing 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I’ve tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose
utility is of limited effectiveness.

Can you help please?!

Jane

Dear Jane:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but is
mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade
from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that
Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed
by its creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to
Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do
this.

Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
files from the system, once installed.

Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I would suggest you
read the entire section regarding General Partnership
Faults (GPFs). This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0,
secretly installed by the parent company as an integral
part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL
responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of
root cause. To activate this great feature enter the
command “C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME”

Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while
entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the
applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can
create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately
YOU may have to give a C:\APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also
cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or
worse yet, Beer 6.0.

Continued below…

Silky Smooth by Body Trends
Hair Removal That’s Easy, Safe & Painless…

List Price: $14.99
Deal Price: $7.99
Get Two (2) For: $11.98

Body Trends Silky Smooth painlessly removes hair and
it’s pain free! It gently exfoliates while removing
hair, leaving your skin soft and smooth. No Pain. No
Chemicals. No Razor Burn.

The secret are the superfine flex-crystals that buff away
unwanted hair, leaving your skin so soft and incredibly
smooth. The dual action system exfoliates as it removes
unwanted hair. Works great on sensitive areas, leaving skin
soft, smooth and supple.

Best of all… it’s safe for legs, forearms, upper lip, bikini
line and much more!

Each Package Includes:
- 1 Travel Case
- 1 Large Applicator
- 1 Small Applicator
- 4 Large flex-crystal replacement pads
- 4 Small flex-crystal replacement pads

Remember get one for $7.99 or get two for $11.98, VISIT:

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Silky Smooth Hair Removal by Body Trends

Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to
create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that
are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by
following this tech tip!

Just remember, the system will run smoothly and take the
blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it
can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend
5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience
10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help
keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of
use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many
valuable embedded features such as FixesBrokenThings 2.1,
Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances,
install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application,
and will cause selective shut down of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 or
Golfing 2.3 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to
install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you
the best of luck in coming years. “We trust you will learn
to fully enjoy this product!

———————————————————————————————–

*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

———————————————————————————————–

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

I was coming back from the bathroom this afternoon when I
bumped into the customer service girl who also acts as our
receptionist.

“TZ! You’re here!”

“Of course, I’m here,” I answered. “Where else would I be,
out somewhere living a fulfilling and satisfying life?”

“You had two phone calls and the boss was looking for you.
I told everybody you were gone for the day.”

“I was just in the bathroom, for Christ’s sake.”

“What do you do in there for a half hour at a time!”

“For me, shitting is a spiritual experience,” I told her.
“Plus, I wanted to finish the last chapter of this book.”

Multi-taskingly,

TZ

“On Wednesday, Maine became the fifth state to legalize gay
marriage, after Governor Balducci signed a same-sex marriage
bill into law. It’s the best news for gays in Maine since
L.L. Bean introduced a line of assless duck-waders.”
–Seth Meyers

50 Martial Arts Classics on 5 DVDs
The Action… The Drama… The Fun of Martial Arts Movies…

List Price: $49.99
DEAL PRICE: $14.99

If you like the action, the drama, the fun of Martial Arts
movies, then you’re going to LOVE this collection at this
extremely low price!

You get an incredible collection of 50 Martial Art Classics,
on five (5) DVDs… all for just $14.99…

::::: THAT’S LESS THAN 30 CENTS A MOVIE! :::::

Featuring Martial Arts stars and icons like, Bruce Lee, Sonny
Chiba, Chen Xing, Lo Yiu & many more…. This 5 Volume,
Double-Sided DVD is a Collectible Treasure that makes a
wonderful gift.

To order, or get a complete list of programs, visit:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14490/c/120/a/498

50 Martial Arts Classics on 5 DVDs

As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by
her students she read, “Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode
off into the sunset.”

She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have
problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground.
A burro is an ass. At your age it’s time to learn the
difference.”

“Don’t start with me, survivors of swine flu. Boy, last
week, it was the pandemic that was going to wipe out the
human race. This week, a great way to lose a little weight
for bikini season. But in Mexico, they are still taking
precautions. The sex show, in Tijuana? The donkey now wears
a condom.” –Bill Maher

PET BLINKERS… The Pet Safety Light
Protect Yourself & Your Pet!

Store Price: $7.99
DEAL PRICE: $3.99 or less

Pet Blinkers give you the added security and peace of mind
knowing you and your pet(s) are visible at night. Whether
you’re going for a jog with your pet or if you just want
extra attention, attach the Pet Blinker to your pet’s collar
and be seen a half-mile away. These eye-catching LEDs
accessorize any pet. Requires three AG3 lithium cell
batteries (included).

http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/6753v0

PET BLINKERS… The Pet Safety Light

Jeff Gordon fires entire pit crew:

This announcement followed Gordon’s decision to take
advantage of President Obama’s scheme to employ Harlem
youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent
documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able
to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without
proper equipment, whereas Gordon’s existing crew could only
do it in 8 seconds with million-dollar high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon’s
management team as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for!

At the crew’s first practice session, not only was the in-
experienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6
seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint
scheme, altered the Vin number, and sold the car to Dale
Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of
Jeff Gordon’s wife in the shower.

———————————————————————————————–

*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

———————————————————————————————–

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

I saw one of the girls in the office eating sunflower seeds
when she dropped one down the front of her top. While she
was fishing it out she saw me looking at her.

“What?” she said with a nervous little giggle. “I dropped
a sunflower seed down my shirt. Don’t get any weird ideas!”

“Weird ideas about sunflower seeds and boobs?” I answered.
“Not exactly my thing.”

“What would be your thing?” she asked, forgetting who she
was talking to.

I thought about it for a minute. “Imagine,” I said, “liver-
wurst, onions and mustard, except replace the two slices of
bread with a pair of tits.”

Fetishly,

TZ

“Nadya Suleman has copyrighted the name ‘Octo-Mom.’ And I’m
thinking, ‘Hey Nadya —what about ‘Breeder’s Cup’?”
–David Letterman

DUAL-POWER DESKTOP FAN w/ Intelligent Speed Control
Superior Airflow Compared To Fans Twice The Size…

Sharper Image Price: $19.99
YOUR PRICE: $9.99

Cool off anywhere with this adjustable dual-power fan.
The compact design fits on a desk or tabletop. You’ll
love the that you can run it with DC adapter (included)
or 4 “C” batteries (not included).

Intelligent Speed Control incrementally adjust speed up
or down with the touch of a button! Choose from a light
breeze of full-power with ease.

Powerful high RPM motor runs quietly while providing
superior airflow of fans twice the size. But don’t worry…
it has finger safe blades. Measures: 5″ x 7″ x 4.5″.

FEATURES:
- Intelligent Speed Control
- On/off button resumes air at the most recent speed selected
- Can run on a DC adaptor (INCLUDED)
- Can run on 4 ‘C’ batteries (Not Included)
- Adjustable head directs air where you need it

Don’t let this blow by you… grab one for 1/2 the normal
price while you can. To see a picture or order, visit:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14463/c/120/a/498

DUAL-POWER DESKTOP FAN w/ Intelligent Speed Control

A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had
found the defendant not guilty.

Astonished, he asked the jury foreman, “How could you possibly
have found this man innocent?”

The foreman replied, “Insanity.”

The perplexed prosecutor asked, “All twelve of you?”

“There’s a new study out that breast-feeding can boost your
IQ. I tried. It just made my nipples sore.” -Craig Ferguson

…….. “Oh, My Aching Back” ……..

THE BACK STRETCHER by North American Healthcare
Great For Aching Muscles Stress & More…

List Price: $59.99
DEAL PRICE: $24.99
Get Two for $39.98

“OH MY ACHING BACK”… If you’ve ever uttered these words,
take note of this amazing Back Stretcher that uses natural
traction to reverse the effects of spinal compression and
pinched nerves, by simply relaxing or stretching your achy back.

Stretch your back and increase flexibility using this gently
curved arch to help naturally relieve pain caused by excessive
bending, muscle spasms and spinal compression.

Simply lie on the arch on a firm surface for a few minutes per
day. Comfortable foam padding on sturdy wood frame with channel
area to take pressure off the spine. If you have serious back
pain, consult your physician before use. 16″ x 10 ¼”.

Grab one for $24.99 or get two (one for home & one for the
office) for $39.96. VISIT:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14429/c/120/a/498

THE BACK STRETCHER by North American Healthcare

An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews,
Scotland. He slices his opening drive out of bounds onto the
beach, so he tees another one up and smacks it right down the
middle.

The golfer turns to his old Scottish caddy and tells him that
in America that is called a “Mulligan” and asks him if there
is a name for it in Scotland.

The caddy replies, “AYE, we call it a three.”

———————————————————————————————-

*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

———————————————————————————————-

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

“I got a stiff neck,” I said.

“You’re a pussy,” Magilla grunted. “Did TZ sleppy-weepy in an
uncomfortable position?”

“No,” I said. “Your wife crossed her legs.”

Stiffly,

TZ

“The 12th season of ‘America’s Top Model’ kicked off. It’s
similar to ‘American Idol,’ only with vomiting instead of
singing.” -Jimmy Kimmel

HIGH CONTRAST 3X AMBER MAGNIFIER SHEET
The Most Innovative Magnifying Sheet Ever…

List Price: $9.99
YOUR PRICE: $4.99
Get Two for $7.98

The High Contrast 3x Amber Magnifier the most innovative
magnifying sheet you’ve ever seen.

Magnify an entire page at one time AND see it clearer than
with any other magnifying object! The secret is in the amber
color that allows for unbelievable contrast between the black
print. Which also helps to reduce eyestrain and squinting.

Perfect for reading books, looking up telephone numbers,
scanning maps, etc…

The Amber Magnifier Allows You To:
- See fine print with ease!
- Never struggle to read again.
- See print clearer than ever before.
- View in 3X magnification.

Grab one or two of these while the price is this low. We
don’t know how long we can keep it at this price. Visit:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14425/c/120/a/498

HIGH CONTRAST 3X AMBER MAGNIFIER SHEET

A search and rescue team had been assembled and sent on a
mission to find an airplane that had crashed on top of a
mountain. It was their duty to rescue any survivors. After
finally reaching the top of the mountain, they came upon
the crash site.

At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a
tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge
pile of other bones, he noticed the rescue team. “Thank
God”, he cried out in relief. “I am saved!”

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock, seeing
the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor.

The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own
head in shame. “You can’t judge me for this,” he insisted.
“I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?”

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward, shaking his
head in disbelief. “I won’t judge you for doing what was
necessary to survive, but my God man… your plane only went
down yesterday!”

“Ten office workers won New Jersey’s $260 million Mega
lottery. Unfortunately, under Barack Obama’s tax plan,
they now owe $300 million.” -Jimmy Fallon

Timesaver Key Holder with Built-In Clock & Voice Record Memo
This is sure to help organize your life…

List Price: $29.99
DEAL PRICE: $12.99
Get two pair for $19.98

There are so many features (see below) but my favorite has
to be the Voice Memo. How cool is it to be able to leave a
message for your kid or spouse reminding them of something
as they grab their keys to leave?

With no effort at all it easily attaches to your refrigerator
with super-strength magnets or use the slots on back to hang
on any wall.

FEATURES:
- Magnetic Key Holders and Color Coded Key Chains for Easy Access
- Displays The Day & Time
- Displays the Indoor Temperature
- Alarm Function with 8 Tones to Choose From
- Countdown Time Function
- Voice Message System (Flashing green light indicates a message)
- Measures: 8.27″x.83″x3.94″

Grab one for $12.99 or get two for $19.98. They make a fabulous
housewarming gift. Visit:

http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14389/c/120/a/498

The chief of staff at the hospital remarked to the director
of nursing that there seemed to be an awful lot of expectant
nurses in their hospital. As they were walking down the hall,
he was becoming more and more concerned about a possible
staff shortage as everyone seemed pregnant. He began to ask
the director when each pregnant nurse they passed was due.

“When is she do?”

“Some time in late September.”

“How about her?”

“Late September.”

“And her?”

“September.”

“My goodness!” exclaimed the chief of staff. “How about her?”

“I have no idea, sir. Norma wasn’t at last year’s Christmas
Party.”

———————————————————————————————-

*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

It’s Available. The Laffaday Book… Check it out, it’s
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:

Laffaday Book

———————————————————————————————-

END OF LAFF A DAY
Copyright 2009 by NextEra Media. All rights reserved.

Here it is, Friday again. one more week shot to hell. Do you
ever feel like your life is trickling away one week, one day,
one hour, one minute at a time? Like there is something you
should be doing with your life but you never have the time
or the energy because you spend all of your time working and
all of your money on the necessities of living and providing
for your family?

Sometimes I think there must be more. Sometimes I want to
make more of my life than eating three meals a day, sleeping
seven hours a night and bringing my wife to sexual ecstasy
twice…..once a week.

Before I grow too old I am going to find my purpose, make my
mark. I am going to leave a legacy so that after I am gone
people will remember the name of TZ…oh, look! Naked pictures
of Jessica Alba…

Philosophically,

TZ

“There’s an asteroid heading toward the earth and we’re all
going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there’s a 1
in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036.
Now an asteroid is a giant rock. It’s headed toward the
earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn’t
send scissors; that would be impractical.” -Craig Ferguson

SPEEDY PASTA
Cook Pasta At Microwave Speed…

Retail Price: $14.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99

No waiting for a big pot of water to boil. Cook pasta to al
dente perfection in the microwave! Uses less energy and water,
takes half the time of cooking on the stovetop, & there’s no
need to stop the microwave to stir.

Use with spaghetti, fettuccine, macaroni, lasagna noodles,
rotini… almost any type of pasta! The lid has holes for
measuring 1, 2, or 4 servings, and a built-in strainer-no need
for a colander. Cooks evenly without boil-over.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/th6iv0
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/th6iv0“>
SPEEDY PASTA – Cook Pasta At Microwave Speed…</a>

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a small corporation,
called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said,
“We’re making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara
will have to be laid off.” Dave looked at Mr. Smith and
said, “Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and
three kids. I don’t know whom to fire.”

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive.
Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, “Barbara,
I’ve got a problem. You see, I’ve got to lay you or Jack
off and I don’t know what to do?” Barbara replied, “You’d
better jack off. I’ve got a headache.”

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, “You want to play
‘Magic’?”

She says, “What’s that?”

He says, “We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear.”

GENUINE LEATHER MEN’S TRIFOLD WALLET

Normal Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99, get two wallets for just $7.98…

Loaded with features…. Open it up and you won’t believe all
the space in this compact area. It has two (2) currency
sections, two (2) window ID’s & six (6) leather credit card
slots., six (6) clear credit card slots, one (1) hidden pouch
great for a key! There’s a spot for everything…

The Marshal motto of, Sure, Pure & Perfect is never more true
than with this classic black wallet. It’s a wallet that demands
attention!

What may be the biggest surprise is the price we have… through
a special buy, we are able to offer this quality wallet for less
than cost. In fact you can get three (3) wallets for less than
the normal price of one.

To see a picture of it (or the Classic Bifold Style), visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/dp0wi2
<a href=”http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/120/a/498/l/dp0wi2“>
GENUINE LEATHER MEN’S TRIFOLD WALLET</a>

To men dicussing how tight ass cold their wives had been to
them about giving sex. The first fellow says “My wife’s so
cold I can put a glass of water in bed with her and the next
morning its turned to ice.”

The second fellow says “Hell, every time my old lady spreads
her legs the furnace kicks in!”

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           *** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***

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  F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
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END OF LAFF A DAY
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